Mental health awareness – anxiety + depression

Hey there loves.

This week was mental health awareness day, and I wanted to write a post on it – but unfortunately Ariana has been really ill and it stressed me out a great deal.

Which unfortunately made my anxiety levels pretty high.

Tuesday was a particularly bad day for me. 

So I kind of shut myself off, you know.

I am not going to say I am entirely out if it because I am not – in fact I even ordered a good delivery because I literally didn’t want to immerse myself in a crowd of people.

Ironically I cut myself off from people – but then I feel alone.

It’s a horrible, vicious circle.

As Ellis Grey once said – the carousel never stops turning.

Incredibly accurate words.

I have been suffering this way for years.

It’s not as simple as being able to switch of my depression.

Mental health is not as simple as using an on/off switch.

It’s easy enough to paint on the smile – I do it everyday.

But then the problem I find is the painted smile is enough to make a person believe that you are just having a ‘bad’ day.

That because I have a family and children I have nothing to be depressed about.

Because apparently if you have these things – a husband, a home, children – then I have no reason to be depressed.

I sometimes wish it were that simple.

But it’s not.

It is an ongoing battle.

My mind is fighting daily with my thoughts. Thoughts of not being good enough, of being a waste of space.

I am not the only one who fights the inner struggle.

Which I guess is the point here.

You can walk by a person on the street who is completely put together – but you don’t know what is going on inside.

We must never judge on appearance alone – 

Anyone can suffer from depression and anxiety.

You don’t have to have had a bad childhood or a traumatic past to suffer.

I always try to look at people with kindness and to never assume anything about them

Never judge a book by it’s cover yes?!

The other thing is the stigma surrounding mental health.

People hear the word ‘depression’ and immediately roll their eyes and brush it off.

Because it isn’t an illness right?!


It is a debilitating illness.





And sometimes fatal.

It is that painful that some suffers take to suicide in order to end their pain.

We need to break the stigma surrounding this illness – try to help save lives.

Reach out and help those who are in pain.

No matter how many times i say I am fine, I am not.

If someone reached out I would grab on with both hands and never let go.

Having someone say “it’s OK I am here for you” is an incredible thing.

If you know someone, anyone who suffers

Help them, reach out, be their person.
Let’s break the stigma.

FMF – test

Hey guys.

Sorry for my absence.

The last few weeks have been a blue if I am honest, and I have neglected the favourite part of my week – and for that I am sorry.

So I am back baby!

First off I will give a quick rundown of my week.

Started off pretty good. Then had to take Ariana to the doctor because (excuse the tmi) she won’t poop!

Then we got told about the school doing an international day – in the interest of spending no money I made it myself 😊 

I hope you can tell she is a Roman πŸ˜‰

I am really pleased with how it turned out! Not bad for stuff I found around the house 😊

Then today…oh today! But I will get to that shortly.
So now it’s Friday and I am back to FMF.

Joining in with kate and her weekly linkup of writers.

This week’s prompt – test
Ready, set, go
Oh man I have had my fair share of tests.

I think we all have am I right?!

Today for example should have been an average Friday – send Bella off to school and go food shopping..easy right?!


I ended up having to race Ariana back to the doctors as I worried that she was having a bad reaction to her medicine.

On coming back my sister offered to look after Ariana so I could go shopping.

Great right?!

About an hour in to my shop I got a message saying she had projectile vomited everywhere..Joy!

Panic ensued my end – phone calls back to the doctor who determined she has a bladder infection – hello antibiotics! Which meant having to swing by the doctors and pharmacy before heading home.

That was today’s test.

I think sometimes motherhood has its daily challenges – am I right?

There is no such thing as a simply day 😊

This kind of thing I always struggle with – mainky because of my fear of vomit!

But it raises my stress level immensely.

I realise there are so many people around the world that are enduring trials and tests right now – mine may be considered trivial in comparison.

But my heart and prayers is always with them.

Though we may endure trials daily – we must remember Jehovah and Jesus are always with us.

Blogtember challenge – a bit of advice

Another month over – yikes!

I am a little sad that I wasn’t able to do all the days of the blogtember challenge this year – what with our holiday and all 😊

For the last prompt we are to imagine that we were photographed by humans of NY – what advice would we give to a large group of people.

Alright here goes.


What would my advice be? Something I believe in greatly, but also need to apply myself.

It’s OK to be who you are. You are more important than you feel.

I have always struggled with being OK with being me.
This always sounds like an odd thing today, and may be confusing for some to understand.
But when you have spent a long time on the self loathing train – in fact I still spend some days back on it – it is hard to get off, it doesn’t stop at many stations.
Only since having my children have I been spending a little less time feeling consumed by self loathing – I have my bad days, but I try not to let my children see it.

It’s taken me some time to realise that no matter how hard I try to change myself – being myself is OK.

I never felt good enough to have friends or for people to get me.
But as I move on in years I have discovered that’s OK.
Some people might not like me and that’s OK.

It hurts me to write this because I am one of those people who struggles when people don’t like me…because it hurts when they don’t.
It hurts when I fear they don’t like me.

But it’s OK.

I have tried to change myself in order to be liked before.
But not anymore.

It’s OK to be me.
I can be myself, and that’s OK.

It’s OK to be you. The best you you can be.


First off I would like to thank Bailey Jean for another wonderful blogtember.
And secondly, how much I truly enjoy taking part.

Looking forward to next year already!


Blogtember challenge – my year, so far

This year has been an interesting one for sure.
We started out the year as normal..then we managed to book ourselves a holiday, which I never saw coming.

The year has flown by at a scary speed.
I mean it’s already (almost) October!

2017 looms…haha! Sorry!

So today I am going to share with you 5 pictures that sum up my year so far 😊


One – started off the year with several bouts of snow.
And when it snows here, you are stuck for a while!
You need to be cupboard prepared for certain…things like wine and crisps πŸ˜‚
Got to admit this is one of my favourite shots of the year.


Two – my little Ariana got glasses.
It took me 2 years to notice that she had a problem with her eyes, and I feel incredibly guilty because of it, I feel like I failed my baby.
I know it isn’t my fault that she has bad eyes, but feel like I should have noticed sooner. This year she got her first pair of glasses, all the way home she pointing everything out to me with such excitement. It was amazing.


Three – bluebells.
This one’s easy. Every year I plan to go and see the seas of bluebells in the woods and every year I miss them!
This year I finally made it. Bluebells are one of my favourite flowers ❀


Four – a selfie.
It’s no secret I don’t like pictures of myself. When I take one I rarely look at the camera, I don’t know why I just really don’t like to look at the camera. In fact I much prefer to be behind the lens. I feel my lack of confidence in myself shows in my eyes and in my face.
Anyway, this one I dislike least πŸ˜‰


Five – last but definitely not least. Paris.
As you may know we took a little trip to France this month.
I am officially in love with France. Being a big lover of bread and cheese helps 😊 but oh man France now has a place in my heart along with California ❀

How does your year look so far?


Blogtember challenge – what makes you happy?

I put my hand up and admit I am quite obsessed with watching videos on YouTube –

Marriage proposals, baby announcements, surprise name it.

Anything that will make me smile so hard it brings emotional tears to my eyes – yes I am that person πŸ˜‚

When I thought about today’s prompt for blogtember, one video in particular stood out to me.

Just this week I witnessed the beautiful kindness and huge heart of a young boy, who wants to give the young Syrian boy who’s image broke the world’s all know the image.

Just thinking about it now is breaking my heart.

Young Alex who lives in Scarsdale NY wrote a letter to President Obama – offering the little boy home.

link here

I defy you to watch this video and not tear up.

This young boy fills me with joy, happiness and faith that there is still love and kindness in the world.


Blogtember challenge – Pierrefonds a review

Hey guys.

So it has been a week now back in this place called reality πŸ™„
And all the kids have colds!
Hubby has a cold (lookout!) and autumn has literally come flying in out of nowhere seemingly.

Today has been a hideous blur of homework and PVA glue.

So it’s been nice to look back and reflect on our holiday – because I decided that my review for today would be a place.


So I am taking it back to the first place we visited in France.
A beautiful little town and chateau called pierrefonds.


The place itself was really quaint.
With cobbled streets – which I adore!
Shutters on every window – love!

And to make it even better in the centre of the square was an eating area where you could sit and watch the world go by.


I love that!
Just sit at a table with coffee and macarons and people watch 😊

Plus I really liked how every town has a bakery in it – it couldn’t be more French if it tried!


The chateau was glorious.


I love how buildings like this were built without the machinery we have today.
That you have to crane your neck just to see the top of the towers.


That the doors were built big enough to fit Goliath in – because who doesn’t need a giant door right?!


The views are spectacular and pretty.
I could live there 😊


And the rooms…aww man the rooms!
This was the entrance to the living room – because we all need an entrance like this!
Imagine inviting people into your home – and be like welcome to my humble abode πŸ˜‚

Look at the size of my kids in comparison to the doorway – you could fit a horse through it!


If you ever visit France may I suggest the region of Picardy.
It’s beautiful and scenic.

And it is full of houses like this one.
Sorry chΓ’teau!!

Look forward to seeing what you all have reviewed 😊


Blogtember challenge β€’ autumn is here!

It’s official folks!

Autumn is here.

Autumn is my 2nd favourite season.

There is nothing more wonderful than snuggling under a blanket with a nice cup of tea in chilly weather.


Autumn favourites –

Crunchy leaves under foot.
Beautiful shades of orange.
Big, woolly jumpers.
Snuggly blankets and hot water bottles.
Pumpkin spice Lattes 😍
The changing colours of leaves.
Curling up by the fire
Heart warming soup and warm crusty bread.
Wearing layers!

What are your favourite things about autumn?