Where is my self confidence?!

I have no confidence
Its almost all but gone
In fact I don’t recall a time when I had any
I feel so small
So insignificant
So invisible most of the time

I have a love for others but not for me
And always think I am a failure
I expect the worst of me and am my worst critic
I highly praise others but criticise myself

I love my friends, but I don’t think they love me back
My confidence is shot to pieces from my own lack of self love

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I have talked before of the importance of self esteem.
But it seems to me in order for me to move forward as a strong woman I need all these things to work in harmony with each other.

Too long I have been afraid of being who I am.
Too long I have seeked others approval above my own.
Too long I have hated who I am.
Too long I have despised looking in the mirror each day
Too long I have been jealous of how others look, of their buckets of self confidence.
Too long I have oozed sadness and shyness from every pore.
Too long I have spent walking into a room and wondering if the people in it like me.

So here goes,
Can I be positive about myself?
Can I love my own reflection?
Can I walk into a room with all the confidence I can muster and more?
Can I wear what I want to wear without feeling out of place?
Can I love myself?
Can I feel beautiful when I walk in a room?
Can I ooze confidence?

All key questions.
But the point is can I feel these things.
Yes I can.
It may take some time, but I consider it a goal

Can you feel confident?

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I love this quite.
It words exactly how I want to feel.
It words how all women should feel.

We should be confident in who we are
We are strong, beautiful women

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We can be confident without being too much.
Confident but humble
Courageous and kind
Strong and brave
Beautiful and true.

Be true to yourself ladies
Be confident in your character 💖

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15 thoughts on “Where is my self confidence?!

  1. Oh, Charlotte. My heart aches for you. It truly does. I’ve no experience of feeling like this about myself so don’t even know where to begin to try to find even a few words that might help you. I’ve had a few times in my life when I’ve felt really alone and I’ve always ‘challenged myself’ in those times to do something that would ‘shock’ me out of that state and in to a new state of mind. Perhaps something like that might work for you? Perhaps trying something new that you’ve not tried before might help you? [A new way of trying to find a source of self esteem? Doing something new that makes you feel proud of yourself? A new way of thinking? May be try gratitude journalling – but write 5 things you’re thankful about yourself? Or try journalling – only positive things about yourself…10 minutes every day for 21 days?]…I don’t know and I really feel like I might not be helping and might, actually, be making things worse, so I’m going to leave you…. You’re obviously such a beautiful person, I find it really hard to get my head around the fact that you don’t feel you are….and that upsets me because I can’t help you 😦 Sending you all my love and all my best thoughts and positive energy xxx

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    • Thank you for your kindness. It is something I have struggled with for so long you know, I almost feel like it is a part of who I am. But I am desperate to be rid of these feelings.
      I like the idea of writing things in a gratitude journal.
      You are not making it worse I promise. I really appreciate your words and love.
      Sending you love and gratitude xxx

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  2. I have up and down attacks of this feeling myself, some days I feel like i’m worth a gaziliian billion bucks and other days I feel like I’m not worth the dirt i walk on…. it’s a strugggle.

    So all i can do is offer you love and support in a moment like this when yr down might be pulling a little harder than your up <3<3<3

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  3. Charlotte, the words you share are touching and beautiful. I felt my eyes tearing with sadness for you as I read them; I can relate…I have definitely had those times when my self-confidence was so low I didn’t think I could go on any longer either. But, with the help of others and yourself and God – not sure if you work that way! – you will rise to the challenges and become that woman full of confidence. You ARE a beautiful young lady and have so much to offer! Thank you for sharing!!

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  4. I think we all feel this way at some time or another. Thanks for being so honest and brave and sharing your thoughts. You are indeed strong and beautiful!

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  5. I’ve been there too. It’s a place I used to live, and still visit often. This is a powerful post. It is brave of you to put it out there. We all need to be reminded of these things, and be aware to encourage others. Blessings to you. A fellow traveler.

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  6. So… how are you doing with this now? It’s been a couple of weeks and I hope that you are remembering to be kinder to yourself and be courageous in believing the best. I have lacked self confidence for years – sometimes to extremes… I remember at one point I felt like God was telling me it was a pride issue. I argued with Him (thus maybe confirming his statement) until he said pride is assuming everytime you walk in a room, everyone is thinking or talking about you… wow. Mind blown. I realized he was right… I didn’t need more self confidence, as much as I need(ed) more God confidence! Confidence in what he says about me and how he feels. That was the beginning of tastes of freedom, of brave growing bigger, and of having days, sometimes weeks at a time, where I really like who I am. It’s such a gift! I am praying you unwrap it yourself… He offers it to us all!

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    • Hey, I am doing ok. Taking one day at a time, and trying to be good to myself. Which after a lot of years of feeling a massive lack in self confidence it is a huge change for me.
      Thank you so much for remembering me, your kindness will not be forgotten x

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  7. Dearest Charlotte, I too am wondering how you are now, a few weeks later? How are you caring for yourself. I do think the best kind of brave is a broken brave and the best kind of beautiful is a flawed beauty. I am reading Breathing Room by Leanna Tankersely right now. It has been so good to motivate me to give myself permission to take care of me. Highly recommend it.

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