The need to be thin

Good day all!

So I have been thinking this week about broaching a subject which some may consider taboo.
I suppose its because having dealt in a personal way with it in the past and having similar thoughts in my mind just recently..I decided its time to speak out.

Here goes.

My name is Charlotte.
At age 10 I suffered from anorexia.
My lowest weight was 4 and a half stone.
I was hospitalised.
I can’t tell you why, because I don’t know.
I decided one day to no longer eat. When I did eat I would spent hours exercising.
To this day my mind still tells me I am too fat. To get moving and stop eating.

People find it shocking that I was 10.
But when it happened to me it was a rarely discussed disease.
With the media and celebrity the way it is today, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were vast number of young sufferers.

The need to be skinny
The aim for a thigh gap..skinny arms…wanting to see your ribs

What shocks me about this disease is the large amount of pro anorexia support. For example

People call it thinspiration.

There are days when I don’t want to eat.
Meals I skip.
Pretend I ate a big lunch.
But then I look at myself and say “what are you doing?”
“Why are you doing this?”

I believe you are never fully rid of anorexia.
It is a disease.
It is always in my mind.
The thoughts gnaw at me like a parasite.
Desperate to win me over.
Hoping to take away my last balancing weight and tip me over.

But I am a survivor.
I did not and will not go back there, I can’t.

Those of you that have survived, that are winning the battle each day I applaud you.
Those that still suffer and are getting the help they need.
I applaud you.
Those that suffer in silence…please seek help.
Don’t put your body and mind through a painful and seemingly endless struggle anymore.
You are loved.
No matter what you think you are loved.