FMF – trust

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It’s the 2nd Friday of the 31 five minute free writes challenge – I have missed a couple due to my own brain lacking in some memory cells…sorry about that!
But I hope to not miss anymore.

I am joining in with Kate and co as I do each Friday.

Today’s prompt – Trust

Ready, timer set, go…

Trust…a little word, but full of meaning and importance.
I have had my trust broken in many ways over the years, as I am sure so many if us have.

I have had friendships broken by lies and deceit.
Relationships destroyed by cheating.

Broken trust over and over again can make a persons heart crumble, their walls rise up and barriers blockade their heart.
Broken trust has the ability to break you.

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I know personally that I put myself out there almost allowing myself to be hurt, to be let down, to have my trust in others eroded away – with disappointment and sadness the river flowing through the trust I have and slowly ebbing away at it.

I have a giving heart. I try to see the best in everyone. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

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But I have found to many times – still even now, I give and give – yet find myself clobbered around the head with a club called “disappointment and hurt”

I have found it very hard to trust people – because I doubt my own instincts now.
I always considered myself a good judge of character – but I have been proved so wrong in the past.

Trust is a big thing. It needs to be earned.
It doesn’t come with a click of the fingers – and I wish it were as simple as “faith, trust and pixie dust” but with people its not that easy.

I have incredible faith and trust in Jehovah.

But not people.
I can count on one hand those I fully trust with my heart and soul.

Do you know what?
That’s all I need.

But I also need to trust in myself and my own instincts.
I need to look at myself in the mirror and say –
“Trust in you. I have a giving heart. I am loved. Be yourself and have no fear. Trust in you”

Stop.

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