It’s that time of the week again, yay!
Another five minute Friday.
Y’all know the drill (ooh check me out going all American!)
I am joining in with kate and her weekly linkup of writers.
For five minutes of free writing on a given subject 😊
This weeks prompt – limit
I find it somewhat ironic that this is the prompt for this week.
Today I reached my limit.
I literally woke up this morning feeling deflated.
My day hadn’t even begun and my limit for interaction and general movement was firmly in place.
But I have 3 children that need me to get up and take care of them so I did, albeit I regretted it.
I have had a short fuse today with everyone.
Don’t get me wrong I interacted with everyone, Bella and I made cornflake cakes and I did face painting on the girls – I really didn’t want to – but I pushed myself.
Fast forward to dinner time.
I spent the best half of an hour cooking.
Gave the kids their dinner.
James threw all of his on the floor.
So I spent the next 10 minutes picking it all up, my eyes stinging with tears.
I then retreated to the bathroom locked the door, sat down and cried my eyes out.
My limit was reached…and took a dive off a cliff edge.
My limit is now far in the distance…it can no longer be seen
I feel like a balloon with no air right now.
Flat and empty.
Unfortunately for me I can’t help where my limits lie.
Depression and anxiety have built a ridiculously high wall around my mind and my limits are low.
I hate to admit this because I feel like a failure for not being able to bring myself out of my brain.
What saddens me is that now my limit has been passed I am going to find difficulty in functioning for a few days, which is hard with half term next week.
My heart is in a thousand pieces.
My mind is swimming with insecurities.
I reached a limit, and I let myself go too far passed it.
Now I am broken.
Don’t do what I did today.
Don’t force your limits.