FMF – limit

It’s that time of the week again, yay!

Another five minute Friday.
Y’all know the drill (ooh check me out going all American!)
I am joining in with kate and her weekly linkup of writers.
For five minutes of free writing on a given subject 😊

This weeks prompt – limit

Ready, go

I find it somewhat ironic that this is the prompt for this week.
Today I reached my limit.

I literally woke up this morning feeling deflated.

My day hadn’t even begun and my limit for interaction and general movement was firmly in place.

But I have 3 children that need me to get up and take care of them so I did, albeit I regretted it.

I have had a short fuse today with everyone.

Don’t get me wrong I interacted with everyone, Bella and I made cornflake cakes and I did face painting on the girls – I really didn’t want to – but I pushed myself.

Fast forward to dinner time.

I spent the best half of an hour cooking.
Gave the kids their dinner.
James threw all of his on the floor.
So I spent the next 10 minutes picking it all up, my eyes stinging with tears.

I then retreated to the bathroom locked the door, sat down and cried my eyes out.

My limit was reached…and took a dive off a cliff edge.
My limit is now far in the distance…it can no longer be seen

image

I feel like a balloon with no air right now.
Flat and empty.

Unfortunately for me I can’t help where my limits lie.
Depression and anxiety have built a ridiculously high wall around my mind and my limits are low.

I hate to admit this because I feel like a failure for not being able to bring myself out of my brain.

What saddens me is that now my limit has been passed I am going to find difficulty in functioning for a few days, which is hard with half term next week.

My heart is in a thousand pieces.
My mind is swimming with insecurities.

I reached a limit, and I let myself go too far passed it.
Now I am broken.

Don’t do what I did today.
Don’t force your limits.

image

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “FMF – limit

  1. Oh, sweet friend. I came by via Kate’s link-up and my heart breaks for you. Life can be so exhausting. I can’t offer you more than a virtual hug and a prayer that someone will come alongside you and shoulder some of your burden at least for a little while. That can make all the difference. In the meantime, go easy on yourself. Don’t expect perfection and don’t insist on doing the things that can be done later, or aren’t really necessary at all. You’ve clearly got a lot on your plate and it’s okay if the house doesn’t look perfect or the kids aren’t completely clean or you’re still in your pajamas at 3 in the afternoon. 🙂 Look after the actual needs ~ yours and your family’s ~ and forget the rest while you soak in a bubble bath after bedtime. I know you know it won’t always be this way. Keep pressing on. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s