T@T – new

Happy weekend!

Yes it’s Monday tomorrow.. But it’s a bank holiday!
Which makes it not a real Monday 😊

Well that’s my theory, and I am sticking to it!

And on the plus side, hubby isn’t working!

So it means I get to lie on the sofa and request food and drink…I wish lol!

Alrighty, well you may have noticed that I have been really rubbish at keeping up with Tuesday at ten this month, and for that I am sorry!

I did so good in January then I kept missing weeks!

Boo! I am a bit mushy brained.

But I am going to try harder at keeping up with it 😊

OK. So as you know I am joining in with Karen and her linkup

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This weeks word – new

I remember the moment I first laid eyes on you.
That moment you became a newborn.

That moment when having a baby was a wonderful ‘new’ experience all over again.

Today is 3 years to that day.

You arrived at 4.10am
After 5 hours of labour, whilst listening to emeli sande on the radio.
Every time I hear that song, it brings me back to that moment

(A new favourite!)

At a ‘chunky’ 7lb12oz – I say ‘chunky’ because your big sister was only 5lb10oz born.

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You brought several new experiences for me.

You were the first baby I breastfed, granted not for long – but it was a whole new ball game for me.

You may have been my 2nd baby, but I wasn’t used to taking care of a freshly toilet trained toddler and an on demand fed newborn… so that was a new level for my parenting skills!

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I did put a lot of pressure on myself – which led to some ‘new’ problems.. PPD for one.
But that’s neither here nor there.

You were Bella’s new sister, and boy was she proud.
She loved you to bits! (Still does!)

It took her some time to realise you would be sharing her toys mind you 😊

But every minute she could, she would hug you.

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You were a new experience for her too!

By the time James came along, you were both old hands at having a newborn around.

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You are 3 now.
And so many new things are coming your way.

You start preschool in 2 weeks time.
Your first experience of being away from mummy!

You may be excited.
I am not.

You got glasses in January.
Which was totally new experience for us both, I think!
But are being an absolute star about wearing them!

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Just this last week we were introduced to the joy that is eye patches, to strengthen your eye..you really don’t like them!

And I don’t blame you, it’s essentially a giant eye plaster.
But you are being a trooper about it.
It’s a new thing again for you to cope with.

So many new things will come your way in the future.

But for now you are my happy little bunny 😊

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FMF – alive

Happy weekend!

Yes I missed writing yesterday…but to be fair it was the first day of the school holidays and the kids killed my brain!

So I gave myself a little bit more ‘brain’ time 😊
Which my mushed mummy brain needs!

I am going to jump right in, because my son is not feeling well today and is constantly looking for me with sad puppy dog eyes and poorly whines 😒

Here’s hoping I can grab the 5 minutes!

As you know I am joining in with kate and her linkup of talented, lovely bloggers for five minutes of free writing.

This weeks prompt is alive –

Ready, set, go

For the most part I have been existing.

I guess you could say I breathe, I move but I don’t really live.

I have never really loved myself enough to allow myself to really live.
The more I bring myself down, the less alive I feel.

The more pressure I put on myself, the less alive I am.

Piece by piece I fade away, until I will be nothing but an empty shell.

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The more I feel that I am just existing and not living, the more I believe to be true.

You know the more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it.

There are so many things I want to do, to see.
But I barricade myself behind my comfort zone – which is apparently the “existing” zone.

But what I really want to do is take a sledgehammer to that comfort zone and allow myself to feel alive.

Being alive and feeling alive are two very different things…and I am the one who doesn’t feel alive.

So I am going to take that metaphorical bungee jump and give myself that rush of feeling alive.

The feeling of wind in your hair when standing on a mountain top.
That rush of endorphins you get when you do something really exciting, to really make you blood pump.
When you heart is racing and you feel a crazy high.

That kind of alive.
That is how alive I want to feel.

I want to feel a metaphorical high everyday.
To know I am truly alive.

Stop.

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5 delicious cakes to make you hungry πŸ˜Š

Yesterday I got my bake on..
Nothing too fancy, just your classic Victoria sponge 😊 and thanks to the wonder that is my 9 year old oven…it burnt somewhat!

Oh well it was still delicious…I just won’t be filling in my application for the great British bake off any time soon!

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Seeing as I was in a baking mood I decided to take a quick gander at Pinterest cakes – you know the ones, they make you hungry just looking at them…that I will most likely never attempt πŸ˜‚

Here are my top 5.
(I am going to include the links)

1. Salted caramel brownies

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I am a huge fan of brownies – it’s safe to say brownies are a firm favourite of mine. find the recipe here

2. Cute kitty cat cupcakes

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These are so adorable, if I made them I wouldn’t be able to eat them..they are that cute! find the information here

3. Rocky road bundt

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This looks freaking ridiculously delicious.. I am actually salivating 😍
find the recipe here

4. Salted caramel chocolate

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Alright I admit it..I am a huge fan of salted caramel! Love it!
find the full recipe here

5. Marshmallow candy swirl cake

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Is it just me or does this look like something a kid would love!! It looks like a kids dream cake 😊 find the full recipe here

I don’t know about you but I feel like getting my bake on right now…if I didn’t have to go on the school run I would!!

Don’t worry though, it’s school holidays next week – so I will be getting my bake on!!

Have a great day 😊

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FMF – surprise

Happy fri-yay all!

I am trying to get my writing mojo back..
So I am going to dive right back in it with five minute Friday.

I missed last week because I literally kept over thinking things and couldn’t pin one thing down to write plausibly.

But I think I am coming back 😊 or at least I am not over thinking so much anymore..my brain is still a child filled mush!

Let’s get stuck in shall we!

As you know I am joining in with Kate and her linkup of bloggers who free write for five minutes..with out changing, spell checking or worrying about grammar 😬 eek!

This weeks prompt is – surprise

Ready, set, go

I am not much for surprises.
I prefer to know what is happening or going to happen.
Because I am planner.

For someone that doesn’t like surprises, the realisation I was expecting my son was a big surprise.

My daughter Ariana was 6-7 months old when I started to feel unwell.

I felt incredibly hormonal, my boobs hurt and I was nauseous.
The real kicker came and I missed a period. Obvs.

I didn’t need to see my doctor, I knew.

I wasn’t prepared for another baby so soon.
I was in shock.
This was a surprise I hadn’t anticipated.

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What was a bigger surprise was finding out we were having a boy.
I didn’t see it coming!
I realise it’s a 50/50 shot, but I still figured it would be a girl!

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My little blue surprise arrived on a sunny June day.
He arrived in a hurry too.

I woke up feeling unwell, called the midwife and popped to see them.

After checking me over, she told me I was 4cm dilated.. sorry what?!
It was a good job I put my hospital in the car!

3hours later we welcomed – James Timothy Cornes into the world❀

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He may have been a surprise, but he is such a happy one.
He is such a beautiful, happy boy.

He is always asking for ‘hugas’ (hugs) or ‘isses’ (kiss)

I am so grateful for him, he is such a gorgeous blessing.

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Now he is my big 1 1/2 year old boy 😊

A beautiful, cuddly surprise
Such a joy.

Sometimes surprises aren’t so bad.

Stop.

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Catching up

It would seem I have been suffering from writers block!

That frustrating moment where you sit for hours staring at a blank page willing anything to spring to mind..and nothing!

It was like having a brick wall built around my thoughts and creativity.

Quite possibly the worst feeling.

But I think I may be getting my blogging mojo back…

Let’s play a little bit of catch up eh?!

FirstlyΒ  can I just say this year is flying by…and I for one don’t like it!
It’s march…march I tell you.

What bothers me most is everyday I creep closer to 30..I don’t want to be 30 😲
I won’t dwell on this now..keep your eyes peeled for a future post on this delightful occasion *hint* sarcasm *hint*

Now just lately I have been getting my craft on –

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I have found that it takes my mind off the debilitating pressures I put on myself.
Often I find my mind racing with the classic ‘you aren’t good enough’ thoughts.
But when I put my mind to work on something crafty it really helps to eliminate the nonsense.

About a week or so back I was getting the kids fed and dressed when out of the blue I was hit by a panic attack.
It was a truly scary moment.

I couldn’t breathe – the pain in my chest and head and jaw was suffocating.
The ironic thing is the pain made me panic even more – which is not great *understatement*
This time within 15 minutes it had subsided.
This time hubby was home.

Last time it lasted 30 minutes.
Last time hubby wasn’t home..and I sat on the floor in my kitchen petrified I was going to die and that my children would have to see it.

I don’t mean to sound dramatic.
But it literally felt like I was going to die.
If you have ever had a panic attack.. You will know exactly what I mean.
It is like having a vice on you ribs/lungs!
Which you can imagine.. Feels awesome!

And on the kid front…
Ariana turns 3 this month..what?!
James finally started walking!
Bella has the attitude of a teenager and she isn’t even 6 yet!

What about you?
How are things with you?

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I am…

Hello Monday!!

I would say happy Monday… But who likes Mondays?!

I am really late with this weeks Tuesday at ten, so I am going to squeeze it in now 😊
Better late than never they say!

This weeks Tuesday at ten prompt is I am..so I am going to take this opportunity to share some things about myself 😊

As usual I am joining in with Karen and her linkup

I am English
I am a red head
I am 30 this year πŸ˜’
I am a wife and mother of 3
I am a stay at home mum
I am a Jehovah’s witnesses
I am savoury snack person…crisps, nuts…better than chocolate!
I am a big fan of classic fiction literature
I am sort of a collector of films..from Forrest Gump to the hunger games.
I am not a fan of sci fi movies – I am one of a small percentage who hasn’t seen star wars…and I will keep it that way!
I am in love with vanilla scented candles 😍
I am a collector of notebooks…I love them!
I am against bullying of any kind
I am all for positive body image
I am in love with chocolate and peanut butter!
I am a collector of beach stones, can’t come back from the beach without them!
I am a fan of Marilyn Monroe, ever since seeing some like it hot age 10
I am in love with the 1950’s especially the style back then!
I am a bit of a crime programme addict…ncis, CSI, criminal minds, Sherlock! Yes! I am all over that!
I am an epileptic
I am in recovery from self harm
I am an all day person…basically I can function at all times of the day!
I am addicted to crochet

And finally..
I am a tiny bit in love with photography πŸ˜‰ in case you didn’t know lol!

That’s a bit about me 😊

Now I am off to bed πŸ˜‰
Have a good one!

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And finally..

Why I decided to embrace my post baby body

Just last week a news story popped up in my Facebook feed.
It was another story on mum shaming.

But this one was slightly different and boy did I relate.

Giovanna Fletcher – wife of Tom Fletcher (of mcfly fame) was body body shamed 11 days after having her baby…yes I said 11 days (read here)

Now I had something similar happen to me just days after having James – I had a former colleague point at me and say “ooh are you expecting again?”

My response was one of silence and sadness.

I have never been fully at peace with my body.

These kind of comments are ones that pull you down and make you feel badly about yourself.

I don’t think it is ever OK to ask a woman if she is pregnant.
It is a slippery slope to being possibly right or most likely wrong.

I don’t have many photos of me post baby.
In fact the 3 I found I am covering up my tummy.

But here I am post baby with Bella –

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Ariana –

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James –

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Now let me tell you one thing, when I was pregnant with Bella I read a lot of information.
However, they don’t tell you everything.

Like just how much a newborn can impact your life.

You spend 9 months growing your baby – and when they are growing away you don’t quite get just how much of a life adjustment they are.
But I am not here to talk about the impact of a newborn.

The day after I had Bella, I was sat in my hospital bed and I just decided to reach down and feel my tummy – what was left was essentially a baby pouch.
Don’t get me wrong I didn’t think my stomach was going to pop into its original state – but it wasn’t something I was expecting.

You see your body has just done and gone through an amazing thing – you have created a tiny human..inside you!

And something that didn’t occur to me at the time is you have housed a 5lb baby and also expelled that human..your body took a long time to do this, so it would take a long time to get back to normal.

So essentially just after having a baby – your tummy will still look slightly pregnant.

We may see photos of celebrity’s who have snapped back into shape 6 weeks after having their babies – but what we don’t realise is that they have a team of people to help them get this way.
They have personal trainers and nanny’s to care if the little ones.

In the regular household this isn’t possible.

It has taken me a while to embrace the way my body has changed since having my children.
Looking at myself in the mirror, so many things have changed.

I am not going to look how I did at 18 anymore.
I am creeping up on 30 now and I have 3 little ones.
In fact having 2 of my kids 15 months apart never gave my body the chance to recover fully from pregnancy and labour.

I am learning to embrace my body because it has done an incredible job.
And now I wear my stretch marks proudly, because they show how hard my body worked when growing my babies.

This mom shaming trend needs to stop.
We need to support each other, be there for each other.

We brought babies into this world and our first priority is them not our appearance.
We don’t need to rush our bodies into recovery.
They know what they are doing and will recover in their own time.

I am not rushing my body.
My body is strong.
Your body is strong.

Don’t be disheartened if someone makes ‘helpful’ comments.
Because you are one tough mother.
Beautiful mother. You grew a human. Tell the shamers that.

Be proud of your body.

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