FMF – alive

Happy weekend!

Yes I missed writing yesterday…but to be fair it was the first day of the school holidays and the kids killed my brain!

So I gave myself a little bit more ‘brain’ time 😊
Which my mushed mummy brain needs!

I am going to jump right in, because my son is not feeling well today and is constantly looking for me with sad puppy dog eyes and poorly whines 😢

Here’s hoping I can grab the 5 minutes!

As you know I am joining in with kate and her linkup of talented, lovely bloggers for five minutes of free writing.

This weeks prompt is alive –

Ready, set, go

For the most part I have been existing.

I guess you could say I breathe, I move but I don’t really live.

I have never really loved myself enough to allow myself to really live.
The more I bring myself down, the less alive I feel.

The more pressure I put on myself, the less alive I am.

Piece by piece I fade away, until I will be nothing but an empty shell.

image

The more I feel that I am just existing and not living, the more I believe to be true.

You know the more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it.

There are so many things I want to do, to see.
But I barricade myself behind my comfort zone – which is apparently the “existing” zone.

But what I really want to do is take a sledgehammer to that comfort zone and allow myself to feel alive.

Being alive and feeling alive are two very different things…and I am the one who doesn’t feel alive.

So I am going to take that metaphorical bungee jump and give myself that rush of feeling alive.

The feeling of wind in your hair when standing on a mountain top.
That rush of endorphins you get when you do something really exciting, to really make you blood pump.
When you heart is racing and you feel a crazy high.

That kind of alive.
That is how alive I want to feel.

I want to feel a metaphorical high everyday.
To know I am truly alive.

Stop.

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