FMF – hidden

Hey there!

Oh my word guys! This last week and a bit of school holiday have been ridiculous…Bella had the chicken pox!

She has been itchy and spotty and cranky ๐Ÿ˜ข – and I have been stressed, cranky and drinking wine ๐Ÿ˜‚

So far the other 2 have been spot free…but I am on spot watch!
Fairly sure I am annoying my kids by constantly looking at them for spots ๐Ÿ˜‚

Oh kids if only you knew..this is only the beginning to me being an annoying/embarrassing mum!

Not only did Bella have the chicken pox, she was also the carnival queens attendant – she was so lucky the pox were no longer contagious by then!!

It was a pretty good day. Although I got sunburned…on one arm! Yea I have this whole sunburn thing down ๐Ÿ˜‚

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It was pretty much the only sunny day all week!

Alright, let’s get down to business ๐Ÿ˜‰
It’s time for five minute Friday.
That great part of the week where we get to free write – without editing or deleting anything ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
That part is my worst nightmare! I am stickler for checking my spelling and grammar mistakes!

Anyway…

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As usual I am joining in with kate and her linkup of talented bloggers.

This weeks prompt is – hidden

Ready, set, go

Would you say you put yourself out there?
When you meet people do you share your entire life story?
Are you an open book?

For me it is no to every question.

A part of me is always hidden.
I am the smiling face that hides pain.

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I consider myself a closed book…no I am a padlocked book in a safe..buried in a place with no geographical landmarks.. OK I am babbling.
But you see what I am trying to say.

Most of what makes me who I am is hidden from view.
Not because I am ashamed if who I am.
But because I fear that people won’t like me.

Yes I am 30 years old and I still fear not being liked.
I am not proud of this fact.

But it is something I have always done.
Only those close to me, who I have known for years know pretty much everything about me.
They get the pleasure of my full personality โค

OK I will tell a few things about me you may not know –

โ€ข I used to be a goth…and a fan of heavy/death metal.
โ€ข I literally like any type of music – excluding drum and bass!
โ€ข I am a massive fan of musical theatre.. I know all the lyrics to cats, grease, the sound of music, Les miserable and hairspray!
โ€ข when I first self harmed, I did it on my upper thigh and when someone saw it I blamed my dog for scratching me. Sorry max!

Guys I wear my heart on my sleeve – but I am predominantly a mask wearer.

Do you wear a mask?
Do you hide your pain from others – do you hide your suffering?

I have suffered in silence for many years.
I don’t like to put on others – you know?
I always say that people have there own troubles without me putting mine on them.

So I hide them.

Do you?

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2 thoughts on “FMF – hidden

  1. Thanks so much for your honesty, Charlotte. I can relate to your ‘hidden-ness’ and the picture of the girl with the mask is so profound.
    ‘Would you say you put yourself out there?
    When you meet people do you share your entire life story?
    Are you an open book?’ I used to be much more open, but have learnt to be hidden too, and to guard my heart a little more. So much to think about here – there are times to be hidden, in Him though, and times to be honest. Trying to learn the difference. Thanks again for sharing.
    Please keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

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