FMF – Connect

Its back.

The first five minute friday of 2017! This year I hope to do all of them.

Self care is my thing this year, taking time out do things I enjoy. And I enjoy blogging, writing down my thoughts, reading others…Etc..Etc..

So in the spirit of sticking to my word, here is my (albiet late) five minute friday post.

As usual I am joining in with kate and her linkup of lovely bloggers.

Taking 5 minutes out of our busy schedules to write on a given topic – no deleting, no editing..Eek!

This week’s prompt – connect

Ready, set, go.
We all want to connect with someone. It’s human nature.

As babies we connect with our parents. 

As children we try to connect with other children, to make friends.

As teenagers we try to connect with different peer groups, trying to fit in. To belong.

As adults, I think the same thing applies. It’s surprising how the work place is very much like high school.

But on some level we all want to connect.

Because let me tell you something being lonely sucks, it really sucks.

I told my mum something the other day about how hard it was for me in high school.

How I had a group of friends – 3 or 4. Most days they would be my friend, talk with me, sit with me in class etc.

But other days I would go to school only to find this was no long the case. Today they hated me. Today they would ignore me, blank me, point and laugh at me, openly mock me in class. Basically treat me like garbage.

All I ever wanted was a proper friend. Not one that treated me badly. Yet I let it happen over and over again.

Yet even though this is how people have treated me – I still long to connect.

Because when we connect with those who make us feel good, it builds us up.

Making us feel more worthy of friendship, of kindness.

Everybody deserves kindness. Deserves they can connect with, and talk to.

How do you feel when you connect with others?

Just one connection makes a difference.


It’s 2017!

Hey there!

Another year has flown by in a total blur – literally I have very little memory of what happened!

Although I am one of those people who decided to gather up my photo memories of 2016 and post them on social media – yes I am that person!

2016 was a year of many first in our house – Ariana got her first pair of glasses, Bella lost her first tooth, Ariana and her first day of pre school.. Etc 

This year will have its fair share of first too. Ariana starts school full time, James starts pre school this year too!

What were some of your highlights of 2016?

But what about the downsides of 2016?

Terror attacks, major earthquakes, Donald trump!

And don’t even get me started on the huge loses in the TV/music/movie industry!

David Bowie, Prince, Alan Rickman, Ronnie Corbett, Harper Lee, Frank Sinatra jr, Rick Parfitt, George Michael, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds, Paul Daniels, Doris Roberts, Victoria Wood, Christina Grimmie, Muhammed Ali..To name but a few.

I absolutely adore Alan Rickman! No words can really describe how awesome he was 😔

Hoping that we don’t lose so many this year! We lost a lot of good ones already!
On a lighter note, what are your plans for 2017?

Mums, it’s OK to have a bad day.

Last week I crumbled under increasing pressure.

Its no secret that I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years.

But this felt different somehow. Like I might not be able to come back from it.

I got up as I normally do, got the kids up. Then something was said that made me snap.

So I got dressed, put my shoes on, got in the car and drove off.

To this day I can’t tell why it happened – but it did.

That day is a blur of tears for me. I don’t cry often. But this day was an extreme exception.

I think what people don’t seem to realise is that being a stay at home is a lonely job.

Don’t get me wrong I live my kids deeply, but when you spend 24/7 with 3 people under the age of 7 it can be a lot you know.

I guarantee someone will read this and say “well maybe you shouldn’t have kids then” or “then go back to work” – all excellent advice I’m sure, but I am not complaining about being a stay at home mum, but merely making an observation.

We as mums have a lot of pressure put on us – not just from ourselves but from others too.

We want to be the perfect mums.

Doing everything as the books say. Like a stepford mum if you will.

But most days I walk around the house in my yoga pants, I don’t wear make up and I rarely do anything with my hair.

My house is generally tidy (if you count toys everywhere as tidy).

Dinner is ready at a certain time, but we don’t eat at the table (don’t judge)

My washing pile never seems to shrink. and I don’t iron.

Yes I give my kids chicken nuggets.

Most days I make dinner and it’s picked apart and left by the kids.

I rarely get dinner for myself until 8pm.

I often feel like a failure as a mum. Like I don’t do enough.

But my friends will tell me I am doing a great job, so my brain is conflicted.
Everyday is the same, and often feel like I am on a hamster wheel that I can’t get off of.

You can only go so far running on empty.

And right now I feel as if I am. Like I have come to a brick wall so I have to stop.

But do you know what – it’s OK to feel this way.

Unless I stop and take time to refuel then I will crumble, like I did last week.

As mums were allowed to have a bad day.

Because, let’s face it we have a great deal of things do each day, let alone trying to keep our kids alive!
As a mum with depression and anxiety I find it increasingly hard.

Some days are harder than others.

But it’s OK.

It’s OK not to be perfect.

It’s OK to not be OK.

It’s OK to have a bad day.

Sometimes we all need time to self care.
And ladies that’s OK.

FMF – joy

Well hello.

I took a little break away from writing for a few weeks – I felt a little lost, a little bit like I had lost my mojo.

So I took some time to reflect and try to rejuvenate myself.

Because sometimes it is important to take the time out for self care.
But I am back and hoping to not get stuck in a writing rut – 2016 has been tough year, in so many ways.

Roll on 2017…am I right?!

Here goes – five minute friday.

Joining in with kate and her linkup of lovely writers.

Taking five minutes to write on a prompt. No deleting. No editing.

This week’s word – joy
Ready, set, go.
Joy can be found everywhere. You just have to look.

The world is sometimes a really scary, dangerous place.

But there is also joy.

Joy in giving.

Joy in kindness and in love.

Joy in the ordinary.

Joy in happiness.

There is also joy in just showing up you know.

You can be your own joy, your own light.

Joy is a decision, a journey you choose.

Joy can be found in small moments, some you might not even notice at the time.

Joy is a blessing.

Joy is a joy.

Joy is a wonderful thing. 

Its an amazing feeling.

I sometimes struggle to find the joy. To hold onto it.

But I know that joy is there, I just have to grasp it.

We all need to find the joy in life.


Anti bullying week

Hey guys.

I have been a bit quiet on the blogging front these last few weeks – I have been stuck in a dark funk, and if I am honest I haven’t even tried to get out of it.

I see a tiny speck of light at the end of my dark tunnel – I will reach it soon.

But I am not here to talk about my troubles.

I am here today to talk about bullying.

This week is Anti bullying week.

Bella’s school are wearing blue today for anti bullying week.

I have always tried to teach Bella that we should be kind to everyone.

Which is an important lesson that we should all teach our children – because I believe that thoughts and ideas of how we treat others should begin when we are young.

Having been on the receiving end of bullies – I know how it can break a person.

It can make you feel so small and so worthless.

It can push you to your breaking point.

Make you feel like you have weights around your neck on daily basis.

Why should anyone have to deal with that?

To go through that everyday.

It breaks my heart to hear of those who have been bullied to the brink of suicide – some very young children have taken their lives.

It makes me feel physically sick that I live in a society where bullying is still seemingly socially acceptable.

It gets filmed and posted on YouTube for the world to see.

When did it become on to be a bystander or to even film someone elses pain?

I realise I am only one person – not much that I say will change how things are as a whole.

But it’s a start right?!

If I don’t say anything my opinion will never be heard.

Because bullying happens all around in many shapes and forms – its not just physical bullying.

Unfortunately adults bully too. I don’t really want to go into the whole trump thing – but i think you get my point.

Bullying is wrong.

Bullying hurts people.

Words hurt people.

Hate hurts people.

We need to be someone who builds others up and not one who tears them down.

It starts with kindness. It starts with a thought.

Think before you act.

FMF – journey

Do you know what? 

I wrote the title of this blog post on Friday and then poof! No ideas!

Literally couldn’t think of anything, it was incredibly frustrating.

I really hate having writers block…
But as I sit here with a glass of wine in my hand, with the kids in bed I think I got it 😊

Joining in with kate and her linkup of lovely bloggers for five minutes of free writing.

This week’s prompt is journey

Ready, set, go
Life is a journey.

Everyday is a new challenge.

But sometimes it’s easy to forget that life is a journey.

Often I will get stuck in a rut or get stressed out about the little things.

In fact I stress about the little things a lot.

For example trying to toilet train Ariana before she starts school has been a nightmare. A fist clenching, hair pulling nightmare.

It took months. Months of accidents, uti’s and poop fear.

Yes you read that right! Poop fear. So much so that she ended up constipated.

And during her toilet training journey I stupidly compared it with toilet training Bella – who took 2 weeks.

Doing so I caused myself more stress. I felt like a failure.

What I failed to realise was that – this was part of Ariana’s journey. Her journey of growing up.

And I probably stressed her out – fairly certain I was giving off vibes of stress-ness.

You know when you can feel someone’s energy?!

Anyway I am going off on a tangent.

Once I realised it was her journey that she would complete in her own time – we were onto a winner.

And interestingly she got there on her own. 

She just got it, it clicked.

She completed her journey in her own time – I didn’t need to push her there.

Our lives are a journey.

A series of moments, memories and lessons that we learn throughout our lives.

We will learn and live in so many ways 

But we can’t rush ourselves to complete our journey – take your time.

Journeys aren’t meant to be rushed.

Enjoy the view, take it slow. 

Get there in your own time.